Dear Best Friend,
I know I can be a tad tedious. You endure my whining about every little thing, my irrational tears and you’re not afraid of me despite having seen me in my borderline insane phases. I tell you every little thing, even if you couldn’t care less about it and occasionally practice my foreign language skills on you, even though you have no clue what I’m saying. Honestly, if I were you I probably would’ve run for my sanity forever ago. But for some reason you’ve stuck around and for that I am extremely grateful because the thing is, I waited for you.
I was messed up in so many ways when I met you freshman year. Think of the all those “I don’t have my life together” memes and you basically have an idea of who I was then. I pestered you for help on math homework so many times I was convinced you thought I was stupid. Except you didn’t. Instead you talked to me. We exchanged everything from favorite animals to our vision on how the world should be governed. You told me I was your best friend.
But, I had a best friend. Granted, she lived two thousand miles away from me in California, but I still thought of her as such. Part of me knew that it was inevitable that we would grow apart, yet still I clung to the hope that distance would not affect our friendship. It felt wrong that she could be replaced by someone else, like I was somehow cheating on her by befriending new people. And so, best friend, I waited. I hung out with you at school and occasionally texted you at night with the rationalization that I was receiving help on homework, but you were still just a friend.
I think I knew long before I wanted to admit it to myself that you were more than just another friendly face at school. You became my go-to person. When I had a bad day you could make me laugh. When I felt alone you kept me company. And you knew how to put the pieces back together when I fell and shattered into a hundred tiny pieces. It was my cowardice more than anything else that held me back. I was a guarded person with a treasure chest full of secrets securely locked and safely tucked away where no one could access them.
Still, you somehow found the key I hadn’t even known existed. You opened the treasure chest and rather than being repelled by what you found within, you helped me organize it. The miscellaneous items that no longer belonged were discarded, while other items that had previously been sitting in a haphazard pile were reorganized neatly. And that was when I realized that I was wrong. I was not afraid of losing something. No, I was afraid of what would happen if I let you see what was in my treasure chest. But now that you had, I realized the fear had faded, leaving only two words: “best friend”.
Love,
Angie Shaw
*Sorry if this piece was kind of cringe-worthy. I didn't like it too much. Open to suggestions on how to fix it though >-<
